I like the story about the father who comes home to find his young son working on a school project with an impressive set of colored markers. The dad asks where they came from. His son admits he took them from school without permission but will return them the next day.
"I can’t believe you’d do that," his father responds. "It’s against everything I ever taught you. If you needed them so badly, why didn’t you tell me? I would have taken some from my office. I’m so upset with you, I’m going to call in sick tomorrow so I can talk to your teacher."
A classic case of do as I say, not as I do.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Who you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you say." In a similar vein, Robert Fulghum warned parents: "Don`t worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they’re always watching you."
It’s a great burden to have to be all we want children to be, but it’s the surest road to success as a parent, teacher, or coach. Children are more likely to do what they see us doing than what we tell them to do. Often they ignore the words and mimic the actions.
And, by the way, how we behave when we’re off-guard, when we think no one is looking, influences people more than self-conscious and intentional demonstrations of virtue.
Children notice how we handle ourselves and how we cope with stress, anger, and good fortune. They notice whether we’re accountable or make up excuses, whether we deal with or avoid our problems. Everything we say and do sends a message.
If you want to help your children build the type of character you’re proud of, act as if they’re watching. And you know what? They are.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
Michael Josephson, Founder of Josephson Institute
http://charactercounts.org/
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