Act As If Your Children Are Watching

I like the story about the father who comes home to find his young son working on a school project with an impressive set of colored markers. The dad asks where they came from. His son admits he took them from school without permission but will return them the next day.

"I can’t believe you’d do that," his father responds. "It’s against everything I ever taught you. If you needed them so badly, why didn’t you tell me? I would have taken some from my office. I’m so upset with you, I’m going to call in sick tomorrow so I can talk to your teacher."

A classic case of do as I say, not as I do.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Who you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you say." In a similar vein, Robert Fulghum warned parents: "Don`t worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they’re always watching you."

It’s a great burden to have to be all we want children to be, but it’s the surest road to success as a parent, teacher, or coach. Children are more likely to do what they see us doing than what we tell them to do. Often they ignore the words and mimic the actions.

And, by the way, how we behave when we’re off-guard, when we think no one is looking, influences people more than self-conscious and intentional demonstrations of virtue.

Children notice how we handle ourselves and how we cope with stress, anger, and good fortune. They notice whether we’re accountable or make up excuses, whether we deal with or avoid our problems. Everything we say and do sends a message.

If you want to help your children build the type of character you’re proud of, act as if they’re watching. And you know what? They are.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
Michael Josephson, Founder of Josephson Institute
http://charactercounts.org/

Being An Example To Our Children

This quarter in the High School class we are going through a book called “Tough Choices”. We will be discussing tough choices that occur in situations involving television violence, foul language, sex, drinking a little as long as you don’t get drunk, the pressures of friends, the clothing we wear, dancing, the music we listen to, the Internet, white lies, etc. While these tough choices are difficult in High School, they are also tough choices for all of us, regardless of age. With Alyssa being a little less than six months old, this class is a refresher of the values that Michelle and I will work through with her to make sure she is well equipped to face her future peer pressure and the pressures of society in general on these topics.

We as parents have a responsibility to our children to teach, be good examples, and to keep them from doing things that would lead them away from the truth. We read in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” How can we expect our children to grow up and be strong in the faith if we are weak examples ourselves? Children look up to their parents in the early years as “Super Hero’s” and in later years as older, wiser parents who hold a warm spot in their heart. This warm spot many times overrides the truth in their hearts. We are to teach our children to love Christ more than anything in this world, even us, their own parents. Luke 14:26 "If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.” Our father always told us that no matter what he said, if it was wrong according to the scriptures, go with the truth, not him. Dad has been a great example to all of us.

Sometimes we as parents may think that it does not matter if we stray away here and there. We may go on vacation and miss services because we are driving, not even trying to find a church the week before. There may be something going on at school that we think is more important than services. These things may happen in “one off” situations where we are really in a difficult situation, but we really have to watch, the more they happen, the more we adapt to missing more and more, and falling farther and farther away from the truth. Over time as we take mini vacations from church, we may not even realize that the choices we make for our children are not in their spiritual best interests.

We also have to be strong on these fundamental issues when they arise. We cannot give in to the pressures of society ourselves. We have to remember what is said in Proverbs 17:15 He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous, Both of them alike are an abomination to the LORD. How do we justify the wicked? Could it be by letting our children watch things on TV that no one should be watching? Could it be teaching our children that it’s OK to drink as long as you don’t get drunk? Could it be allowing our children to attend dances or other venues that are sexually charged? Could it be by missing worship services for other events?

True Worship

We sing the song during worship “True Worship”, but what is true worship? The song talks about coming together to sing and pray, giving our offering, eating the bread, and drinking the cup. Is “true worship” criticizing the person who gives the announcements because they are repetitive, excessively long and useless because everything is written in the bulletin anyway? Is “true worship” thinking about how long the opening prayer is and wishing it was over? Is “true worship” critiquing the song leader for the songs he picked and the extravagant way he leads the singing? Is “true worship” critiquing the preacher for the lesson he chose? It’s too strict, it’s too dry, it’s too long, and he’s too monotone. Is “true worship” critiquing everyone else who is there to worship? They may not dress the way you think they should, they are not focused like they should be, their personal lives are not reflective of how they personify themselves at worship, they sinned in the past and you still look on them in that light.

I think we all know that these things are not “true worship”, but many times we may fall into one or more of these sinful traps. When we attend worship services we are to be focused on God. Jesus says in John 4: 21-24:

Jesus said to her, "Woman, believe Me, an hour is coming when neither in this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. "God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth."

As we read here, we see that the “True Worshippers” will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. These are the people who look beyond the irrelevant issues of who is directing our minds in worship, but instead focus directly on the words they are saying so that they can apply these words to their lives. These are the people who find ways to make direct application from the things being said, sung, taught, etc., to their personal lives to enrich all those they come in contact with on a daily basis.

If we all focus our hearts and minds on being “True Worshippers” at all times, love for our God, Lord, and Savior as well as our fellow man will be greatly increased and we will be blessed even more than we already are.